I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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