therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
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Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
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feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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