She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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