Duck Duck Cougar?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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