My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times