And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here