I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
So vagazzling was a success
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
