i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma