i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
she looked like the before picture.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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