Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
...so i touched it.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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