I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I could fuck to npr.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
