so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i drank out of a bidet.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
