I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boobs are out for the taking
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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