Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Randomize
