plz talk dirty to me
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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