I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize