Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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