bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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