You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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