i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I smell like Dick and happiness
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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