It's like God shit irony all over that family
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
