dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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