Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
