Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
