Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
