he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
