when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
