I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize