what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
