At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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