My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
