I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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