I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
