hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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