Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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