How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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