feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
