That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
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I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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