take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
