Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
