So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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