that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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