My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
