Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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