Sry I called you an 8
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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