I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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