Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
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My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
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if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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