whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
