that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
