Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
