woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
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