You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
