so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
