i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
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