What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just gift wrapped bread.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
