From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
