The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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