Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
