Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
