so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
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Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
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We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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